Pie War!
by Emberstar-phoenix lover
Summary: Natalia invites everyone to the party she is holding at the castle and it turns out to be an all out dessert war! A/n: After writing this for a second time, the one thing I have to say is; this made me so hungry.XD Rewritten, revised, and reviewed.


"Luke, we're going to be late." Tear snapped as she waited impatiently by the door, tapping a heeled toe on the ground. Luke hopped around the room trying to get a black sock on and gave her a pleading look.

"Sorry Tear, I just can't get this monkey suit on!" He shouted before promptly tripping over his own feet and landing on the floor face first. Tear sighed and shook her head in frustration. She walked over and helped the red head up and began fixing his tie and hair.

"Jeez, when will you learn?" She muttered and pulled his tie tighter. He gave a choking sound when she did and clawed fervently at the red tie.

"Anyways, the others are waiting outside." Tear turned around to see Luke's face go from pale to blue. She quickly ran over and loosened the tie so that he would be able to breathe again. Luke gave a deep inhale and started coughing as his face regained color.

"You almost killed me." He pouted combing though his hair with his fingers and making sure to cover his mouth when he coughed again. He pulled the sock on the rest of the way while Tear busied herself by pacing around, looking for his shoes. When she spotted the black flat shoes, she picked them up and passed them to the replica. He nodded his thanks and slipped them on with little difficulty compared to his sock issue.

Tear looked up as he joined her at the door and brushed down her modest looking black dress. It wasn't high to the thigh like the modern fashion called for, but instead wrapped nicely around her heels. There were a few ruffles in the dress and it pulled slightly to her right side, though she didn't mind the extra weight since she was stronger in her right side anyways. Her feet were clad with skinny high heels though she secretly wished she could take them off and trade them for Luke's shoes.

"Ready?" She asked and opened up the door. The two walked out and spotted their companions leaning against the wall of the manor as they waited for the two. Jade pushed up his glasses and pushed his shoulders off the wall as well as readjusting his black tie on his white tux. Guy noticed his best friend walk out with Tear and smirked.

"Done having fun Luke?" He asked with a wicked grin.

"Guy! We did no such thing!" Tear chided and glared at the blond, guessing his hidden meaning by the glint in his eye.

"You know, I'm still wondering if Ion really took that curse slot off you. You're reminding me more and more of that certain general." Luke hissed and punched Guy in the shoulder. The blond smiled and rubbed his arm before leaving from his spot on the wall. He set a medium pace behind the replica but left room for escape if necessary. His black tuxedo he had chosen to wear that night had already attracted the eyes of several girls who shared a giggling fit as he left their peripheral vision.

Anise who had been alerted ever since Jade left the wall and followed behind imagining all the pastries that the castle could be holding at the moment, since she had heard from Jade the room would be pact full of them. Even though she had been traveling with the Malkuthian Colonel for quite some time, she couldn't help but feel excited and anxious to get to the ballroom, even if it was a total lie from the chestnut haired man. She twirled her fluffy pink dress around like a child and put her hand to her head, letting her imagination soar as the images of pie and other desserts filled her mind.

A quiet tap from under a knights helm in front of them revealed a hidden Mieu who chirped happily and flew to sit on Luke's shoulder. Luke smiled at the new weight and ruffled the cheagle's head. Mieu gave a purr in delight and climbed up onto his 'masters' head.

The five exited the manor, six including Mieu, and made their way over to the castle. They walked in companionable silence in the silver moonlight as they walked towards the shining building at the top of the city of light.

Stopping in front of the front gates momentarily, the knights only needed to see the young viscount, his guardian, and the accompanying special guests to throw open the gate with the utmost speed. As Luke walked by one though he heard the white knight mutter something about bracing themselves. Luke would have delved further into this if Tear had not gently coaxed him forward into the castle.

The five entered the grand ballroom under the guidance of Guy's directions (Luke didn't know the castle as well) and marveled at the sight. A towering golden looking chandelier hung above a grand ballroom, where guest milled around and conversed pleasantly with one another. People were dressed in gaudy clothing, some looking to weigh hundreds of pounds. Tear grimaced as she passed by a lady who's ears looked to be stretched from the heavy earring she wore.

"Those ears look like they could touch the floor." Luke whispered to Guy. The blond first felt some sympathy for the lady before thinking about it and eventually snickering. The lady turned towards the boys huffing, who immediately looked away and ran to catch up with the rest of the group. The five traveled together like a herd of sheep glued together as they did, earning stares from other nobles and high class people.

Surprisingly, Jade seemed to be the most relaxed of any of them, that is until Anise saw the dessert table. She frowned and puffed a cheek in agitation to find it was _only_ three long gigantic tables worth of desserts. "Boo! Colonel, you said the place was packed with desserts!" She pouted to the red eyed man.

Jade shrugged as a small smirk displayed itself onto his face. "Did I say that?"

"Yes, and you lied too!" She bawled, throwing her fist at him. He easily caught them with a hand and smiled cheerfully.

"Now now Anise, we're at a party. Show some more respect~." He said smoothly, the smirk still evident on his face.

"B-but you-! Ugh, why do I even bother?" Anise asked, holding her forearm to her forehead dramatically. The gesture made her two curled pigtails bounce up and down.

"Shhh!" The room suddenly went silent as the lights dimmed and a small spot light shown up on the top of the stair case, near the back of the ballroom. There was a quiet tapping of shoes before the Kimlascan Princess appeared in a light teal dress fit for a princess. Which you know since she was one...yeah...

From behind her, a red head appeared gently grabbing her hand and leading her down the stairs. The group, excluding Jade, gawked as they watched the usually short tempered fiery general, guide the delicate princess down the flight of stairs showing off a gentle caring side. Natalia giggled lightly and blushed when she saw her companions amidst the crowd.

The two reached the bottom where they exchanged a light conversation. After that, the two promptly joined the rest of the group in the middle of the crowd.

At arrival, Luke immediately went to looking Asch up and down at the new outfit. Asch's hair was braided and thrown over his shoulder, a black and gold vest on over a white shirt. His pants were also white with hints on black in the outside. The ever more impression of a scowl remained on his face even though he wasn't even mad at anything...yet.

"Never thought you'd show your face in a different outfit." Luke said, briefly going through the outfits in his head that Asch wore. In fact, there was no other costume he had actually shown his face in.

"Never thought a stupid dreck like you would be able to put a suit on." Asch growled. "Did Tear help you?"

"Actually she did." Luke growled back in the exact same tone. Tear sighed and held her head. Sometimes he could be so dense he wouldn't even notice a blow to his pride. The two teens glared at each other in anger and spite.

"I'm glad you guys are here~! I never expected all of you to come. Mainly you colonel." Natalia said softly. "On top of that, even some of the oracle knights came." Her voice raised as she walked over and clung to Asch's arm. The red head flinched at the sudden contact since he was broken out of glare fest with his replica, but relaxed slightly when he realized it was Natalia.

"Define _some._" Guy said looking around nervously at the other dressed up individuals.

"Six, to be precise Guy. Why would it matter?" Natalia asked putting her free hand on her hip.

"Would these six be of the same rank as Asch in the order?" Anise asked looking at Natalia with one eye while keeping her other eye on the dessert table.

"Well I guess, but to me, Asch will always be at a higher rank~!" Natalia gushed and hugged his arm tighter.

"I knew I felt my skin crawl when I came in here." Guy muttered holding his arm where the original curse slot had been, generously given to him by Sync.

"Well, it shouldn't matter who the guest is, you should just enjoy the party." Natalia chided waving a finger in the Sigmund style swordsman's face. Guy instantly leaped backwards and scratched his head in embarrassment.

"Right, well if you'll excuse me..." He said hastily and left to go get a refreshment.

"Same here!" Anise cheered, only to be grabbed by Jade.

"Unfortunately for you, you're staying with me Anise. Wouldn't want you running off with any gullible enough guys." Jade chortled. Anise huffed and thrashed in his hold, eager to get to the dessert table, where a particularly good looking shortcake sat. When his death grip didn't loosen, the pig tailed girl gave a groan of despair and crossed her arms irritably.

"But Colonel~! The pies~!" She sobbed.

The Malkuthian Colonel remained smiling and gripped her collar ever so more tighter. Anise wailed and flailed at this but Jade wasn't going to let go anytime soon.

"Guy, where do you think they're hiding?" Luke asked the Sigmund swordsman. They were loitering near the staircase of the ballroom, obviously not happy with some of the guest charter listings. They had scouted out most of the ballroom and they still hadn't caught sight of their enemies.

"I don't know Luke, but they better not come near us." Guy murmured lowly. "Or we're gonna be in for one hell of a fight."

"Champagne sirs?" A passing by butler asked, holding up a tray of liquor filled glasses to the viscount and guardian. Guy nodded a thanks and grabbed one of the glasses off briefly smelling the champagne to make sure it was really just champagne. The butler nodded when Luke shook his head no and left the two to their conversation.

"You like that stuff?" Luke asked the older who was busy eying the liquid.

"It helps me forget sometimes." He said with a small smile before taking a light sip. He winced as he set the glass down on a staircase. "Its really strong. Probably so they can get us drunk enough to the point they start bringing out the crappy wine."

"Hm, sounds interesting."Luke replied while looking off into the distance. Guy, who was not totally oblivious to his friends boredom, quickly changed the subject.

"So anyways, why do you think they're here?" He asked.

"I don't know to have fun?" The two boys stared at each other for a moment before starting to laugh hysterically.

"The god generals, having fun?" Guy said in between laughs.

"I know, its not even close to possible." Luke said back. The two were so caught up in laughter they didn't realize a person approaching them from behind.

"I assure you, there are times we share in laughter too." A stern cold voice rang behind them. The two men instantly choked up their laughter and made a 180 degree turn to see one of the people they were looking for.

Legretta the Quick stood behind them with crossed arms, tapping her foot with discontent at the comment. The tapping of the foot briefly reminded Luke of Tear earlier. Her eyes were as sharp as a hawks and her mouth was in a thin line of annoyance. Guy and Luke instantly had their backs straight and tall in this women's presence and did not want to get on her bad side any more than they had.

"U-uh, Legretta! How nice to see you tonight!" Luke squeaked. He looked at Legretta's short black dress with a single rose down the side before thinking back to Tear's gown and comparing the two.

Guy's voice broke him out of his fantasy though. "So what is the Order doing here?"

"That's a bit classified but, since were at a party and its not that important I guess it wouldn't hurt. Ingobert invited us to the party in hopes that it would strengthen the ties between the Order and the Kimlascan area. Van accepted and brought us along anyways since he said we needed a break. He left shortly after we arrived." The blond sharp shooter finished and left the two nodding like bobble heads in understanding.

"I can relate, all this fighting is wearing us down to. Its nice to relax once in awhile." Guy spoke casually, his guard slipping down just a bit knowing it was just a normal party now. He also knew if Van would try anything funny here then it would completely destroy the treaty with the two countries. Luke though still seemed on edge about something.

"Where are the others?" He asked Legretta sharply.

The blond general dismissed the threatening tone with a wave of her hand. "They're wandering about. All I know is that Largo said something about food and Sync and Arietta were being swept up by an old couple to dance. I saw Asch coming down with the princess, but I have no clue where Dist is." She said with a small sigh at the end.

"Oh...well that's good news." Luke said, scratching the back of his head slowly.

"Yes, could you tell me where Tear is? I need to discuss something with her." Legretta said as she tinkered with the small dangling earrings on her ears.

"I think she's talking with Asch and Natalia still." Guy suggested and jabbed a thumb in the general direction.

"Thank you." Legretta tipped her head manner-fully before walking away and leaving the two to stare at her retreating form.

Luke nudged Guy when he caught the blond drooling and stomped on his toe. "Hey, stop trying to catch flies. Lets go find the other god generals just in case she was lying."

The guardian bent down to massage his injured toe and shook his head. "I doubt it, since most the old people in here do like to grab the youngest and throw them into a dance. We've seen Asch and I doubt Largo would be plotting anything. The only thing I'm concerned about is Dist. I wouldn't put it past him that he would have the guts to put a bomb in the chandelier."

Luke nodded a grim agreement before setting out into the madness in hopes to spot the reaper.

"Anyways Tear, how are you and Luke doing?" Natalia asked still clinging onto her best mans arm.

"I don't get what you're saying." Tear tilted her head slightly, confusion written all over her face.

"You know what I mean! You two obviously have some chemistry between each other. Now spill the beans, has he done anything note worthy?" The Kimlascan princess giggled sending shivers up Asch's spine. It was like they were talking about him indirectly.

"I-I-I don't think you get it. Luke and I are just friends." Tear stuttered.

"Yes, really good friends that are falling for each other." Natalia giggled again. Tear looked over at the uneasy red head who seemed like he would bolt any second. This, she found was the perfect subject changer.

"Asch, are you okay?" The brunette asked the short tempered general.

'Hm, oh yes, I'm perfect. Nothing can get better than this." He said hastily to the melodist before looking off like there was something spectacular in the distance. "Natalia, I'm gonna go get some punch."

"Huh, well okay, just hurry back." Natalia untangled her arm from his and the man quickly walked away muttering things about replicas and murdering things. Tear watched him go before finding herself giving off a foreign sound. She hadn't realized it until Natalia covered up her mouth and started laughing.

"Tear, you sound so cute when you giggle." Natalia said trying to keep the laughter from hurting her friends dignity.

"C-cute? Negative, I assure you I'm no such thing." Tear said turning away, a blush creeping onto her face. It only deepened its shade when Natalia burst out laughing, unable to hold it anymore.

"Its good to see you getting out more, Mysterica." A deep baritone voice stated. The two women looked up into the wise eyes of the black lion, still trying to stop their laughing/blushing.

"Its nice to see you again Largo." Tear said to the big man. She looked at his hands which were full of finger foods and desserts before looking back up to his face and nodding lightly. Largo tossed a cheesecake bit into his mouth before nodding respectfully to the two in return. He walked away quietly leaving the descendant of Yulia and the Kimlascan Princess to their conversations.

"Colonel! Let go!" Anise wailed as she tried to reach the desserts. Jade had moved so close to the dessert table but yet it was too long of a distance to reach anything.

"Anise be more respectful." Jade chided lightly grabbing a lemon tart off the table. Anise watched helplessly as the sadistic man slowly ate the tart right in front of her. She glared and pounded her fist on his wrist in hopes he'd let her go. By doing this though, her dress slowly rose to a point that even the high to the thigh fashion statement was out matched.

"Hey Anise, turn anymore and everyone's gonna see your underwear!" A voice mocked from behind. Anise blushed and swiveled back around to pat down her dress before tracing the voice and laughter back to its owner.

"Sync! Don't you know any respect?" Anise yelled at the green haired boy. He was in a plain tux like most the men but the difference was, the tie was undone and some of the buttons were loose. He wasn't presently wearing his mask, but most of his hair covered up the left side of his face so it still looked like he was a different person, albeit the hair was a little messier than usual. Arietta stood by his side in a light pink dress, almost white, and her hair was up in a ponytail; lacking a certain hat and doll.

"I have respect, though none of its for you." He replied coyly to the puppet master. She puffed up her cheeks and balled up her fist, gripping her dress. She pulled down on her dress and stomped a foot down angrily in response, pouting slightly.

"Boo!"

"Please don't yell... the commandant said not to make a scene, Sync." Arietta muttered pulling slightly on his sleeve.

"I can make a scene if I want to; I don't give a damn about Kimlasca!" He replied pulling his sleeve away and sending an angry glare down at her. The small pink haired beast tamer seemed to shrink under his angry glare and hugged her sides tightly, since her doll was not present. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes making the green haired boy regret yelling at her.

"Hey, don't cry shrimp!" He said hastily. The pink haired girl looked close to spilling tears making the general on her left fret and fumble around trying to cheer her up. " Hey, if you cry, we'll both be in trouble!" He hissed. This just caused her shoulders to tense and a broken cry escape her mouth.

"You bastard! Look what you did, even I'm not this mean and she's my rival!" Anise yelled at him. He instantly turned on Anise who was giving him the best glare she could.

"This is all you're fault!" He accused.

"My fault? You're the one who yelled at her!" Anise shot back, anger and venom filling her words.

"I only yelled at her because you made me!" As the two bickered Jade found a nice comfy chair and leaned back into it, amused at the situation. He watched as they slowly edged more and more towards the desserts and foresaw the outcome of where this fight would lead to.

"Oh yeah? Well you're just a big retarded idiot!" Anise yelled grabbing the nearest cream pie in her vicinity.

"Look who's talking! You use a _doll_ for a weapon!" He said with a hint of malevolence on the word 'doll', grabbing a blueberry tart.

"Bird beak!"

"Pig-tailed broad!"

"Faggot!"

"Whore!"

"That's it!" Anise roared and threw the cream pie at the boy who nimble jumped out of the way. The pie sailed through the air before landing on Luke, who had been looking for Tear. He circled around to see who had thrown a pie at him before getting hit in the face with a blueberry tart that Anise had dodged.

"Haha~!" Guy laughed before getting a face full of lemon iced cake. He shuddered as one of his most hated foods was now in his mouth.

"Nah Nah, can't get me!" Sync taunted before throwing a cherry pie at Anise. She ducked under it and bristled, grabbing a strawberry cheesecake and hurling it at him.

When she realized she threw, she huffed and stomped angrily again. "OH! I was gonna eat that!"

Sync moved swiftly to the left and grabbed a few chocolate frosted cupcakes before throwing them at the girl. She slapped them out of the way, splattering chocolate onto her and Arietta's white/pink dresses. Sync smirked before getting hit by vanilla cupcakes, earning white marks all over his black tux.

"What is the meaning of this?" Largo roared, stomping in between the middle of the food fight. Guests moved away, some screaming in terror and out the doors. Few remained, curious to where this would lead to. "You children should know better not to start a fight in this place!"

"Shut it old man!" Sync yelled throwing a banana pie at the black lion. Adrenaline coursed through the two children's vains and they weren't about to let even their own comrades stop them now.

"Sync, you should be asha-" The desert mercenary quickly turned into a dessert man as the banana pie splatted onto his face, covering most of his hair, beard, and face.

"Anise, what are you doing?" Tear asked running forward. She didn't make it three steps before tripping over the remains of the cream pie and falling flat on her face.

"Tear!" Natalia cried running towards the brunette. She, like the other woman, slipped on a dessert stowed around on the floor and slipped across the ballroom. Asch, who was returning with his punch only took one sip before getting knocked over by the royal archer. The punch flied up and splattered all over the floor and the two downed people, leaving them in red punch dyed clothing.

"Stop it this instant!" Legretta yelled, running towards Anise. The pig-tailed girl reacted by throwing a pudding pie at the blond sharp shooter. The blond moved aside and let the pie go past her, hitting whatever noble was behind her. She was then hit in the back of the head with a spice cake by the red head viscount, finally recovering from the blueberry tart. He didn't know why he threw it at her, so he went with, 'it was vengeance for all the injuries you gave us'.

"Why you little insolent-" Legretta flipped around, scooping up a key lime pie as she did and hurled it back at Luke. The said teen made a dive to the left and watched in horror as the key lime hit Tear in her neatly done hair.

"M-major..." Tear stuttered picking herself up and wiping the key lime out of her hair. Legretta stared in shock at the face of her student.

"T-Tear, I'm so sor-" Legretta wasn't finished since an apple pie was suddenly in her face and dripping down her short dress. Tear smirked and grabbed another pie before tossing it up and down by the pan. Legretta stood there in shock for a second before wiping the pie filling off her face and running behind a table quickly. With one fluid motion she flipped a vacant table over and grabbed her own dessert weapon.

"Take this you greenie brat!" Anise yelled, chucking a few chocolate truffles at Sync. The said greenie made a counter with a few other truffles. With precise accuracy, the two threw the chocolate desserts only to have them ricochet off each other in the middle. Truffles began piling up in the middle as a result.

"Take what? I'm not receiving anything over here!" He shouted back switching from truffles to snack cakes. Anise growled a curse over, too low to understand, as she threw more cupcakes she had located.

"S-stop it!" Arietta's muffled voice said from under the mountain of truffles, cupcakes, and snack cakes. Sync and Arietta ignored her for the most part; continuing to throw anything in reach. Once of twice a chair would sail past as well.

"Young kids these days." Jade chortled from his seat. He reached over to grab a glass of wine, only to have the wall behind it explode and send the liquid flying. Jade's eyebrow twitched in annoyance as his drink went flying and was replaced by crazed laughter.

"Ahahahaha, I knew this would turn bad, good thing I brought my glorious finished Barrelow DXX~!" The dessert war stopped momentarily as the remaining people stared at the giant robot that entered the room through the wall. Any remaining guests had long since scattered, making sure to trek carefully through the war zone.

"Dist!" Legretta shouted in a shrill manner. "I said not to bring any war machines!"

"Know your place woman, this is for the best of the world." The feminine man shouted down from his perch on the robot.

"I see treaties going down the drain by the second." Jade informed nearby.

"Oh! Jade~! I didn't see you there~! Ah, well prepared to be crushed by my great robot! I hope you said your farewells to Nephrey!" Dist shouted manically. He pushed a lever, making the robot's foot raise and step forward. On impact with the slick dessert covered ground though, the robot slipped and was sent crashing down.

Jade watched as the robot came sailing down towards him and gracefully stepped out of the way. The robot landed with a loud bang, on the bean bun table. The filling in the bean buns instantly flew out the sides that weren't squished and splashed all over the colonel's white tux, which had somehow remained clean up to this point.

The world seemed to stop as electricity seemed to radiate off the powerful necromancer. Any other stray souls that had wandered in, back away and ran to the elevators. The god generals and jade gang alike watched as the red eyes seemed to fill with malevolence and pure evil.

"Children these days, should learn there place." He said as Dist crawled out from under the wreckage.

"_I who stand in the full lights of the heaven..."_

"Shit, everyone out!" Guy called. He ran for the hole in the wall, which of course was a vain effort. The others knew it was hopeless so prepeared themselves for the worst.

_"Command thee to open the gates of hell, come forth divine lightning! Descend now, Indignation!" _

The large mystic arte struck down on any one in the room, sparing no soul except its castor. When the bright flare ended and the smoking bodies hit the ground the man turned and pushed up his glasses.

"My my Luke, look at this mess. I suggest you start cleaning it up soon." He said cheerfully, whistling as he began to walk out.

Luke who was one of the smoking corpses on the ground coughed some smoke out in a puff and watched the necromancer leave the wreckage happily.

"You... damn...bas...tard..."


End file.
